Someone Won a Prada Today. It's a Good Day.

It went by so fast, but it has indeed been 7 days since I posted the Prada haiku contest and that means it's time to announce the winner! I have gotta say, wow, those were some freakin' incredible haiku (no, my "s" key isn't broken--haiku are like sheeps sheep). Again, for emphasis: freakin' incredible haiku. If you haven't checked them out, click here--with over 200 entries, it's a great way to waste some Monday work time.

Here's a haiku from Basho, the 17th century Japanese haiku master:

the first cold shower
even the monkey seems to want
a little coat of straw

You guys' haiku were like, a million times better. In fact, if MC Basho was alive today, I would go to his posse's hangout and throw down this response haiku:

My readers' haiku
Kick your haiku's ass. Even
the monkey agrees.

Seriously, I checked the comments hourly (er...I mean, I got to them whenever I could considering my extremely busy schedule) and I was constantly amazed by your poetic talent and comedic skillz. My co-judge and I agonized over the decision, but a winner soon emerged.

Her name is Hannah, and she delivered this trifecta of hilarious haiku, which received bonus points for a) employing the traditional haiku rule of referencing the season/weather, and b) the use of word "woe," which is, in my opinion, the greatest and most underrated word in the English language:

Leaves blow in cool wind.
I spend forty bucks on J.
Crew jelly flats. Woe.

Ralph Lauren, you make
me want yachts. I can't even
afford your visors.

It was a cold day.
Caught my brother jerking it
To the AA site.

Congratulations, Hannah! You're the owner of a new Prada wallet. Maybe you can trade it in for a yacht?

But wait, stop the presses! Three runners-up were so good that they will also receive prizes (not Prada prizes, but still):

Pamcasso's was just perfect:

Tom Ford why the hell
Are all the models naked?
I thought you sold clothes!

Christina and Emily's was really beautifully done:

Roberto makes me
Choose sequins over good taste,
Feathers over shame.

And d'jen had an excellent point:

Stella McCartney
Why make nice exercise clothes?
Those women don’t sweat

But wait, stop the presses again! Several other entries stood out (I wasn't lying when I said you guys were good!), and therefore I have created another series of awards to properly honor them:

Most Sexually Deviant: Ms. Wendy Brandes

Hey, Daddy Likey!
I will show-cha my cho-cha
For a Prada prize.

and

No, seriously,
I will show-cha my cho-cha
And maybe tits too!

The Unfortunately, I Wouldn't Be Surprised Award goes to Rachel:

Do all the size two
Samples from the designers
Come with free tapeworm?

Best Reference to the Best TV Show goes to NYI for this gem:

Tobias meet Karl,
fellow leather daddy who'll
forgive the cut-offs.

The Bad Designer Gave Me Insomnia Award goes to The Sunday Best:

Last night I dreamt of
all the good things made by Guess.
It was a short dream.

Most Stylish Amputee: The Fashionhead

if i received a
left Louboutin heel i would
cut off my right foot

The So Sad But So True Award goes to Prunella:

It sucks being poor
as you rarely find Anna
Sui at T.J. Maxx.

Best Use of Pool Pee Nostalgia: Captain Vee

See by Chloe love
is like peeing in a pool-
I'm warm all over

The Hilarious/Horrifying Combo Platter Award goes to Julie:

Only Louis Vuitton
I ever owned was a fish.
Met a comic death.

Most Heartfelt/Most Swedish: Emi

I have no money
Prada you can still help me
Hold fake cash, real dreams

The Haiku So Sassy It Made Me Do An Involuntary Z-Snap was from Elise:

stella mccartney
you have a name for fashion
could use an eye though

Thank you so, so much to everyone who entered and to all the fantastic bloggers who promoted the contest, and keep an eye out for another one in the near future (I've got some ideas...). You guys rock. I love you. Hikuz 4 Lyph!

*Everyone whose haiku was featured in this post should email me with their name and mailing address so I can send out prizes and awesome personalized award certificates!*

Prom Pix!

Fiiiinnnaaallllyyyy, some pictures from my epic (if I do say so myself) 80's prom birthday party a couple weeks ago.

My friend Laila and I (our birthdays are days apart) rented an auditorium in an old high school and threw a joint bash complete with punch, rice krispie treats, and awkward grinding to the Eurythmics. We even pulled a Diebold and handed the prom queen election to ourselves. Those fleeting hours wearing a plastic tiara were, by far, the best of my life.

Disclaimer: By being friends with me, you forfeit your right to privacy. Plus you all look hot so don't complain. Thank you.

My friend Katelyn and me. As I mentioned briefly in a previous post, my persona was "insecure Madonna worshipper," so I went with a tight sequin dress, red tights, a black tuxedo jacket with the sleeves rolled up, a pile of religious necklaces, and some seriously augmented eyebrows that didn't come off for two days. Totally. worth. it.

Left to right: DJ's hott date Jenny, Prom Queen Laila, Prom Queen Winona.

Yes, my boyfriend is this cool. Sidenote: Basically every morning, he has a violent fit about how much he hates his hair, repeatedly whacking himself in the head with a comb and yelling, "It wants to be 80's so bad! I'm tired of fighting it!" So this party worked out well for him.

Based on Laila's pose, I'm assuming this one was taken during "Walk Like an Egyptian."

Here my boyfriend and I illustrate a dance made famous by a kid who rode my bus in 8th grade and is now in jail for attempted murder. It is called the shopping cart, and here's a brief step-by-step so you can practice and, ideally, perform it at your wedding:

1. Walk in a straight line with hands out in front of you, as if you are pushing a shopping cart.
2. Stop every few feet, look to the side thoughtfully.
3. Raise your hand to meet your gaze and mime taking a can off a grocery store shelf.
4. Inspect the imaginary can's ingredients (see my boyfriend's pose above for reference) and look at the imaginary price tag. Put some effort into this step, work it, think about it--Do you really need another can of hominy? Could you get a better deal at Costco?
5. Either put the imaginary can back on the imaginary shelf, or enthusiastically toss it into your imaginary shopping cart.
6. Continue walking, repeating steps 1-5.
Note: Music is optional.

A highlight of the night was definitely the dance line (or whatever the hell you call it), when all of the guests formed two lines (it happened surprisingly spontaneously) and clapped while each person rocked some sweet solo moves down the middle. On a related note, does anyone know if it's possible to end one of these un-awkwardly?

Alec and Henry brought sexy back. Way back.

Alcohol was not allowed in the venue (yes, it was that authentic), so some of my besties got to live out their childhood dream of drinkin' in the boys' room. I'm glad I could grant them such joy.

Some photobooth gems:

Bad girls.

My friends Scott and Kelly arrived and proudly announced that they were "sexually active seventh graders." My love for them grew by a thousand percent.

My friend Meg heard it was an 80's party and decided to go as a TI-83 calculator. Lindsay pushes her buttons.

Meg's husband was a Macintosh. I have the coolest friends ever.

My goal was to look as awkward as possible for the whole night. I think it worked too well.

p.s. Rachy we missed you!!

mad hattress

Interior decorating, vintage enthusiast style.

I'm trying to find a way to display my vintage hats, purses, shoe buckles etc without creating clutter in a very small apartment, or frightening away male visitors (albeit the majority of them are gay men who are more likely to borrow the accessories for a night out).

When my [straight] uncle stopped by the apartment for the first time, he stood speechless in the main room, staring around in thinly disguised horror at the pink, silk, chandelieriness of it all, finally uttering: "holy chick house". At the time, I took it as a compliment, but now I'm working on creating some contrast - Demeulemeester biker boots balancing out 1940s floral headpiece, urban graffiti interspersed with Millais's Pre-Raphaelites, pink curtains making way for Indian fabrics and so on. Off to IKEA for storage ideas this weekend. I'll post photos if my mission is successful.

P.S. Chanced upon this stellar feather hat worn in a magazine last fall (there is a shop in Toronto that lends out vintage pieces to movies and magazine shoots). I dream of finding that beautiful Galliano suit Ana is wearing next...

Diegogarcity, Fake Bolero Edition

Does this ever happen to you? One day you notice something odd, or new, or both, and then over the next several days (weeks, months, years) you start noticing the same phenomenon ALL THE TIME. There's a name for this; believe it or not -- it's called diegogarcity.



And, anyway, I must have given you all diegogarcity, big time, with the fake boleros, because you are all now seeing them everywhere. Here's a recent submission, from Lorraine (or, seeing as she prefers to be known by her Sewing Conspiracy Drag Name, Dixie S. Hoyt):









This one is SLIGHTLY more elegant than some of the other candidates, but it's still fakety-fake-fake.



If you can live with the deception and the tissue of lies, click on the image to visit Woodland Farms Antiques; the pattern's a B39 and $15.



And keep those fake-bolero entries coming, if you would ... maybe later we can have a fake-bolero-off. (You know, like a contest, with voting. Because the actual fake boleros DON'T COME OFF.)

Caroline Ballou Jewelry

Jewelry Designer

Jewelry is in Caroline Ballou's blood. Since 1886, four generations of the Ballou family have made their company one of Rhode Island's most important manufacturers of fine jewelry. As a young designer, Caroline Ballou took a different course. After receiving her MFA, she opened her own studio, producing art jewelry for galleries, hosting private shows with limited edition pieces.





Ashanti Bracelet

The people of Ghana and the Cote d'Ivoire live close to the earth; their ceremonial body ornamentation evokes organic origins - leaf, vine, water, thatch. After working with Crossroads Africa, I came home and grabbed a hammer. All that's gold does not necessarily glitter.

18K Soft Hammered Finish Bracelet w/ 3.5mm

Amethyst, Blue Topaz, Peridot, and Citrine

8" Long



As the Design Director for the family company, Caroline's career took on a new dimension when she began to design her own line. She combined her contemporary visions with B. A. Ballou's history of high quality standards and infinite technical expertise. She gave life to the fifth generation of design innovation in the well respected jewelry manufacturing company, and has received several design awards.





Malaspina Glacier Pendant

Soft Hammered Finish Pendant with 3.5mm Peridot

Most of the world's fresh water is on ice, stored in glaciers. The largest piedmont glacier on earth is in Alaska. From space, it bears an uncanny resemblance to the swirly spirals I've been drawing since preschool. I can't wait to see if my tears freeze before they hit the ground.



Caroline creates her fine jewelry collection with a cross-cultural edge, the sophisticated product of worldwide influences filtered through the sensibility of a thoroughly contemporary artist. Combining rich colors, textures, rhythms, symbols and patterns, she develops a broad mix of necklaces, cuffs, bracelets, rings and earrings. A bit of history is infused into each piece as it is Caroline's interpretation of decorative traditions brought forth from many different cultures.





Highland Cobblestone Ring

18k Soft Finish w/ Polished Edge Ring with Diamond Accent



Jewelry Interpretation

Working in sterling silver and 18k gold, Caroline adds excitement with semi precious gemstones, some being exclusively designed and cut for fine quality and distinction. Diamonds and pearls add a strong yet feminine elegance. Textures in sterling silver are darkened to illuminate the richly incised forms. Gold becomes an art form, sleek and polished, hammered and matte, each piece with a warm glow. Intriguing surface treatments, combinations of precious metals, and contemporary stones and beads are used in illustrating a casual elegance that is Caroline Ballou.



The collections are for the woman seeking individuality; from modern classics with a twist to the refined adaptations of trends. Touchable and wearable, the entire collection moves easily from day to evening, adding pizzazz to business wear and a touch of exclusive luxury to weekend and dinner fashions. Wearing a Caroline Ballou feels like wearing confidence.



Artist Statement

As an artist, I'm observant by nature. And yet, there's something about setting foot on foreign soil that really sharpens the senses. My footprints vanish in a moment, but the textures and colors and shapes of a place take root in my soul.



See full article.





Related Entries:

Jewelry Career Resources - 08 August 2006

Crafty Jewelry from Kentucky Crafted - 28 February 2007

Native American Inlay Jewelry - 14 January 2008

Abalone Jewelry - 18 January 2008

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Name That Shoe

Manolo says, the Manolo's internet friend Mizz Tissa has challenged us to Name That Shoe!

RAFW - Matthew Eager

Matthew Eager's show presented clean lines with no accessories, to make a feature of the minimalistic approach that Eager had in mind. Super-wide linen trousers looked quite elegant on the tall models. High-waisted ra-ra skirts, and dresses in knee lengths came in silver- embellished thick fabric. The boxy coats and bolero jackets were striking, but felt quite demure rather than young and edgy. Colours were in sections white, silver and grey, and with splashes of deep turquoise, and acid green. With the many sleek dresses, this collection presented the most sophisticated range throughout the week. Read also Rebekah Van Druten's, (ABC), interview with Matthew Eager before the show.

The Hostess With the Mostess

This pattern (kindly sent by Lisa of Miss Helene's) is one of a set of (?) "College-Career Fashions created by student-designers of Stephens College, Columbia, MO". However, if anyone on that campus (or anywhere in Columbia, MO) EVER wore anything like this except for the inevitable fashion show (including their most illustrious alumna), I will construct an audacious little cocktail hat and eat it.

I can't imagine that this is a "College-Career fashion", by which I'm assuming they mean something you can wear at College, and then in your Career. (With capital letters because having either College or a Career ws so rare.)

Wearing this at College (unless you ditch the capelet) is patently ridiculous, but you know what Career they meant, of course: this is the dirigible-hostess uniform for the Greater Midwest Lighter-Than-Airlines! Or at least the one that won the contest that the GMLTA conducted among college student-designers.

The dirigible hostesses all loved this design since they could wear their capelet-belt-aprons on duty, then leave them hanging in the GMLTA locker room while they went out to enjoy the nightlife of Columbia MO, St. Louis, Kansas City, or Duluth. (The hubs of the GMLTA.)

The head hostesses would wear navy dresses and red capes, and the cadet hostesses would have red sheaths and navy capes. So chic.

They'd take their little GMLTA pins off the capes, though, and wear them on their sheath dresses, since they were good for a free drink and plate of crudités at any bar in the GMLTA hub cities.

Ah, I wish the GMLTA hadn't gone belly-up (literally, it was terrifying, thank goodness they had those five-point seat harnesses). Those were the days when travel was truly an elegant adventure.

new york, new york...

I'm in town to visit the Oyster Dress, wander Central Park, and raid Century 21 for a good pair of boots. See you Sunday with photos x

Freya Daisy

It's getting awfully hot here at Intimate Guide headquarters. It may not officially be summer, but with temperatures in the 90's, it sure does feel like it. That's why we've decided to go with something “summery” for this week's Frilly Friday selection.

Now when you think of summer, you probably think of sun showers, flowers, frozen drinks, swimming pools and melons...the kind you eat...at the table.

Errr, and that's what the colorful Freya Daisy collection makes us think of - watermelons. The green (officially lime) and fuscia color palette of the daisy collection is quite “summery” indeed. The Freya Daisy Plunge Bra is an unlined, seamed underwire bra. It is primarily composed of ultra sheer mesh decorated with fun polka dots. A satin ribbon with a rosebud applique decorates the non-stretch center gore. The thong is also primarily ultra sheer mesh with a satin bow and rosebud applique with a keyhole in the back. Floral embroidery decorates the front near the waist.

While the Freya Daisy collection looks nothing like a daisy, we'll forgive the lingerie namers. After all, daisies are a summer thing and so is this collection. The great news is that even if your breasts are the size of water melons, Freya has got a Daisy bra for you. Happy Friday!

Tribute to a real legend

Yves Saint Laurent died this past weekend, at 71 (read the NY Times Obituary). A long and renowned career, he was the last of the true great couturiers who put Paris on the map. Though he had retired several years ago, his company continued on and will insure that the YSL logo and the man behind it are not soon forgotten.











Mr Laurent's legacy is sure to live on in the designs produced by others but imbued with his creative spirit..hopefully, they will continue to do honor to his name.

Among the handbags sure to be remembered that have been featured here, and in no particular order...

Tribute Tote


Uptown


Downtown


Vincennes Hobo


Muse


Muse II


The Bow Bag


Downtown Trolley

The fashion world has lost a larger than life legend with the passing of Yves Saint Laurent, but what a truly remarkable career and life he has left to be remembered by.

Quick! Check this out ...

You have GOT to go take a look at this splatter-print 50s dress that is up at Holly's new Lucite Box Vintage site. For one thing, it's a hard-to-find size: B40-W32-H44. For another, it's cotton. In addition: it has pockets! (Plus it's only $75!) And the print ... I love that print.

This would be a great dress to wear to a wedding (as a guest) -- throw a little cardigan over it, and you're set to go to anything from a noon wedding outdoors (add big white sunglasses) to something cocktail-y (add rhinestone jewelry or serious shoes).

I love these sheath-y dresses with the interesting necklines; they're sexy without being OVERTLY so. This dress shows no cleavage, eschews transparency, and isn't split up to THERE, but it's still sexy ... without needing thong underwear. When did we start thinking that a mere cumulative total of exposed skin was enough? It isn't.

But don't stay here listening to my grousing -- anyway, I've got to go yell at some kid to get offa my lawn -- go take a look and decide for yourself ...

Blogback Mountain

Dlisted has the greatest description of Pete Wentz, ever: "I didn't know Gymboree carried hoodies in size douche."

My answer to A Cup of Jo's query about haircolor: Blondes totally have more fun, except when everyone thinks you're a dumbass.

If you are a teacher who's feeling stifled by a dress code and/or resorted to wearing floor-length linen dresses embroidered with colorful fish, you need to read this post, stat.

Never have I been more proud of my city.

The second coming of J. Sus, as indicated by the crazy antics of J. Crew.

I've been worrying about the disappearance of Style Bytes for awhile now (when I say "worrying" I mean "googling 'WHERE IS AGATHE??' twice a day for a month), but I assumed everyone else knew what was going on and just forgot to tell me. Turns out, a lot of people are worried/curious, from Fashion Hayley to Style Bubble to Jennine from the Coveted, who could easily secure a forensic investigator job if this fashion blogging thing doesn't work out.

Cake in my mouth--good. Cake on my wall--good. And calorie free.

Square Old Soul has a round up of supremely chic white t-shirt and jeans combinations--she also wants you to send in yours!

Just discovered this blog. Love it.

And finally, when a lardy chav buying several sausage rolls declares you an eyesore, that's when you know you've made it. Congrats, Queeny!

eVintage Blog Tag - Maxed Out!

This week's eVintage Blog Tag theme is the Maxi Dress - 'We’ve been hearing it nearly every Spring the last few years . . . the maxi dress is back! Vintage sellers rush to their stashes of full length 70s dresses ready to supply the fashion forward with the real deal. A newer spin by the industry touts the maxi length as a “patio dress”

MAXI OR PATIO DRESS, AND WHY?
I like the sound of Patio Dress, it makes the maxi seem like a more casual kind of dress, for everyday wear.

FAVORITE MAXI DRESS IN YOUR INVENTORY?
Here's a rainbow of Maxi Dress styles - a great Mexican Wedding dress - perfect for casual Summer wear, a Tropical-Hawaiian type maxi in super lightweight fabric, Black Cotton velvet maxi for the Goth Gals and a strappy Maxi-Cocktail for an evening out on the town.




AS A TREND, WILL IT BE A HIT OR A MISS?
I think a Maxi or two could easily work their way into your wardrobe. I'm not a big follower of what celebrities wear, but I have to admit that Gwen Stefani makes a Maxi look very good - for a casual day at the beach or out at a special event.




DO YOU WEAR MAXI DRESSES OR SKIRTS?
I'm short, so it's a hard look for me to pull off.

PROS AND CONS?
A Maxi dress seems like an easy outfit to put together with just a few accessories. Cons would be finding the right print and style for your height and shape.

I was tagged by Vintage Joy and now I'm tagging Diary of a Mad Vintage Addict